We Took the One Less Traveled By

You know what is beautiful?  The shores of the Bonnechere River in Canada.

Beautiful, right?

You know what is not beautiful?  Five McMahons after traveling over 2000 miles to get home from the Bonnechere to Austin.  That was a road trip to end all road trips in that all of us now refuse to drive anywhere again.

We left Canada at 11am Saturday morning and hit home at 1am on Monday morning.  38 hours from one door to the next and only 5 of those hours not in the car.  Yes, the road broke even Bill this time and we stopped for an unprecedented sleep break in Terre Haute, IN.  We stopped for sleep, but none of us brought in a change of clothes, or deodorant or even a toothbrush. Why?  Because everything was jammed up and piled in the back and no one knew exactly where anything was and trying to figure it out would cost us time.  We were as ugly and smelly as we get and I think they probably had to deep clean the rental car after we brought it back.  Seriously, my teeth felt like someone had knit individual socks for them and every time I moved my arms I wished I did not have a tank top on.

Usually the road only claims SG and I.  We can only take so many hours of enclosed spaces and not being in control and we have a quiet cry or a full on freak out.  As I mentioned, it claimed Bill in IN.  I started pleading to stop for the night the minute we crossed into IN.  SG was hallucinating by Detroit.  Maizy stopped talking and went stony in Missouri and then it was OK that broke our boy.  Our stalwart, happy boy sat in the way back with tears streaming down his face as he realized that crossing into TX did not mean we were home yet.  

We did not plan this part of the trip very well because no one wanted to think about it.  We knew it was going to be long, crazy long, and it was overwhelming to plan for.  We waited way too long to get food and ended up in Toldeo, OH at 10pm looking for dinner and finding everything closed due to toxic water.  I think we found a Taco Bell open at about midnight and my stomach still hurts from that.  Our last gas station stop was in Plano, TX.  Three hours from home, not a brain cell left among us and the gas station lady wants to engage us in conversation.  Loud, non-stop conversation about how to make Chex Mix at home. I wanted to stab her with my Kind bar.  All we want is to cash out and get out of there and she wants to make friends. I still hate her.

Being on the road that long gives you a road hangover when you get back.  You are tired, you are lethargic, your stomach hurts from all the junk food you ate and you move about it an haze.  Poor Bill and Maizy had to go back to work on Monday.  I think Bill got about four hours of sleep.  I would have laid on the floor and sobbed if I had to go to work.  As it was, I spent the day doing about 10 hours of laundry and falling asleep any time I sat down.

There was some fun built into that ridiculously long ride.  We laughed and laughed at things that were said.  We mocked that gas station lady well into Waco.  We talked, we sang, we were together as a family in a way we are not when we are home. We were trapped in hell, but we were trapped together.  We saw seven states and one province.  We saw rivers and lakes filled to the top and trees taller than I remember trees growing.  We saw places in Canada that were so beautiful you couldn't even talk while driving through them.  We saw farms in Ontario that were so green and lush and enormous they make you think no one in the world should be starving.  We saw huge cities and tiny towns.  We saw two countries from the windows of our dirty, smelly car whiz by.


It is amazing to think of all the miles we have driven over the past two weeks. (SG, the boy and I have 1500 additional miles from the week before.)  Road trips bring out the very best and very worst of us.  One of my favorite moments was when I made SG laugh, and I mean laugh where her head was thrown back and she was gasping for air and when she got some she said "I love you Mom.  And I like you too".  High praise from a preteen I will carry in my heart.   Overall, this ridiculously long road trip was worth it.  It was worth trapping the 16 year old with a dead phone in with us and hearing all the things she finally says.  It was worth breaking the boy's spirit a little if it means he learns how to overcome his disappointment.    And it was definitely worth the 3.5 days on the banks of the Bonnechere.  So while I say I will never road trip again, I know I will. However, next time I will make sure to put extra deodorant and toothbrushes in the glove compartment.