To Clean or Have Cleaned

If cleanliness is next to holiness, then as for me and my house, we are knocking on the gates of hell.  I should be too embarrassed to write about how dirty my house is, but somehow I am not.  We pick up, we straighten, we vacuum and wipe things down but never all at once and not with great enthusiasm.  Dog hair is accumulating, dust has taken over and I don't even want to think about the bathrooms.  The other night on my way up the stairs I noticed that they had not been vacuumed in a very long time.  So long that I was able to scrape the dog hair into a pile on each step as I walked up.  That counts as cleaning, right?  The kids come in and dump everything in the kitchen.  It is so much fun to cook dinner while stepping over backpacks and trying to put clean dishes away.  It normally takes so long to put things where they belong that any intention I had to clean was wiped out.  

Hmm, perhaps I am guilty of kitchen cluttering as well.

Bill will go into white tornado mode where he cleans everything in his path with bleach and pure muscle.  He doesn't stop until every scrap piece of paper has been trashed, he has lost half a lung from bleach fumes and he is exhausted.  The kids and I know that there is no helping the tornado.  Just stay low and out of his way and when he stops muttering how disgusting we are and sits down it is safe to come out.  He is working six days a week lately so the tornado doesn't have time to come out.  I have attempted my own tornado but my spins out a lot faster than his does.  He and I both refuse to ever clean the kids' bathroom again.  Dirty.  Dirty, messy, toothpaste and soap everywhere disgusting children.  The boy is the worst of them all.  Boys under twenty should be allowed in outhouses only, I am not really sure that they deserve indoor plumbing.

I know, all these kids living here, they should be put on cleaning, right?  My mom used to enforce the Saturday morning march on us as kids.  As soon as cartoons ended at 10am, she was right there pushing a dust cloth in our hands or a vacuum or sending someone upstairs to clean the bathroom.  We would try to limp our way through, but she would actually check and make us clean again if it was not done right.  No one went anywhere until the house smelled like Pledge and  sparkled.  We showed her though; whoever was dusting with the Pledge would make sure to accidentally spray the wooden stairs as well.  Good luck staying upright when you hit the bottom two stairs with your sock feet!  We have tried the march here with the kids but they are craftier than we were as kids, or lazier or smarter or our house is too big, and it just doesn't work.  

When I stayed at home, I felt it was my job to keep the house clean and now that I am working I feel like someone else should be cleaning it but somehow that person is still me or Bill and we are tired.  I guess it is time to hire someone to clean it but I struggle a little with paying money we sort of have to have someone do something we could do ourselves.  I know Dave Ramsey would be shouting "SAVE YOUR MONEY, CLEAN AS A FAMILY."  He also advises never buying a coffee out and finding joy in paying off debt.  I am sure being debt free would be lovely but I also don't want to live without joy or Starbucks trying to get there.  

Summer is upon us and that means kids at home using a different glass ten times a day.  Pool towels and wet swimsuits strewn throughout the house in varying piles of dampness.  Shoes kicked off at the front door, the back door, in the middle of the living room and not always as a pair.  That seems like enough to stay on top of without adding toilet cleaning and dusting, right?  I would like to enjoy the kids this summer and not be a total screaming shrew about how messy and disgusting they are.  I have daydreams about being out with them having fun while cleaning people clean our house and coming home to clean.  Clean kitchen, clean bathrooms and a clean house all at once.  That would be a happy, happy day.

I guess it is time then to pull the plug and hire someone.  Time to admit that while I like a clean house, I just am not getting it done on my own.  The kids will have roommates or spouses one day that will get onto them about their mess and they will learn.  That will be about the time Bill and I downsize into something we can white tornado together.  Until then I guess we pay for the peace of mind a clean house can bring, even if it makes me feel a little guilty. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to clean before I can have cleaning people over.