Coming Clean

I have a problem.  No, it is not drinking.  I know you are thinking it based on the nights I may or may not drink the entire bottle of wine and then find myself incredibly funny.  Or the times I go out with friends from work and come home with crazy eyes.  But really, it is not drinking. Nor is it swearing. I have that bad boy under control!  It is reasonable to think it could be Starbucks, but that I can miss for a few days and still function.  Kettlebell you ask?  Kettlebell is not an addiction, it is a lifestyle!  Don’t be silly.

My problem is oat bars.  I am addicted to oat bars. I cannot eat enough oat bars.  I eat them for breakfast and I eat them after dinner.  Almost every day.  Usually I make a double batch and it will last through the week but lately the family has found my oat bars.  And they have been eating them!  Which leads me to say things like “Don’t eat the oat bars!” or “WHO ate the last oat bar?!?!” and maybe once I said “Eat that last oat bar and I will cut you.”

Bill posts vegan recipes he thinks look good all the time and I usually peruse them and say no.  He was very certain that I should make the oat bar one so I did.  The first batch was meh, but the second time when I added chocolate chips?  Well, an oat bar star was born! I am not a fan of most vegan sweets (for a full rant, read here); however, these oat bars are magic. 

Magic.

It started small, as problems like this tend to do. I would eat one before my 5:30am kettlebell and found it was just enough to get me through the workout without tasting it the entire time.  Then I found myself eating them for breakfast when I wasn’t working out. Next, I was breaking off a small piece to eat while cooking dinner or another small piece to eat while cleaning up dinner.  Finally, I have given up any pretense of small piece and plunk a large square of them on a plate every night.  The only thing that saves me from packing them and eating them at lunch is that they taste better when they are kept in the refrigerator.  They tend to break apart while traveling.   

What is in there that has me jonesing for them twice a day?  All natural goodness in those things: almond butter, almond milk, oats, maple syrup, cinnamon and coconut oil.  And, of course, chocolate chips.  Could I make them without the chocolate chips?  What? Why?  That would be like drinking decaf coffee or O’Doul’s: pointless.

I ignored Bill when he said I had an oat bar problem.  I dismissed the kids when they accused me of hiding oat bars so they couldn’t eat them.  (Might be true).  But now that I am taking an entire blog to tell you about oat bars, I see the truth.  I do have a high need for oat bars, but is it really a problem?  I am eating all natural good for me food twice a day.  These things are so all natural I will find oat in my teeth hours later.  Neighhhhhhhhhh.  I have not gained weight despite the copious amounts of chocolate chips I stir into them. I have even tried adding walnuts and hemp seed to increase the Omega-3 factor.  No, this is not a problem!  This is high nutrition!  I guess my reluctance to share could be the problem.  However, I shared my body with those kids; I think I am still ahead as far as giving. 

I think that everyone should mix up a batch and tell me what you think.  Here is the recipe: 

Oat Bars

1 cup almond butter

4 tbsps melted coconut oil

5 tbsps maple syrup

4 tbsps almond milk

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp vanilla (only pure vanilla, no imitation vanilla)

½ tsp salt

3 cups of oats

Copious amount of chocolate chips (I prefer the dark chocolate chips)

Whisk together all of the ingredients except the oats.  Then stir in oats and POUR in chocolate chips.  Put into large rectangular pan and refrigerate.  Eat twice a day until someone mentions that you may have an oat bar problem.  Continue to make and eat oat bars, but be sure to section off some as soon as they are set and hide them in small bags throughout the refrigerator.  I prefer the vegetable crisper for its low detection rate.   

I think that you will find that they are not the sweetest thing, or the most decadent.  They do not make you see better, smell better or get straight A’s.  They do taste good, they fill you up and they are better for you than any cookie you might buy. It is nice that in my mixed household of vegan/vegetarian/carnivore that everyone can eat them.   That is, if I share.