For My Dad

My dad will turn 70 this Sunday.  70 is amazing because it is 70!  70 is also amazing because he was diagnosed with thyroid and tongue cancer in October of last year.  He has had a rough go of surgeries, radiation and chemotherapy since then, but he has made it.  He has beaten it.  He gets to celebrate 70!

My dad was born on May 12, 1943. We think this is a picture of him as a baby.  I say we think because it says Peter on the front but it also says "Peter?" in shaky handwriting on the back.  He was the third baby born at home and I don't blame my grandmother for blocking things out. 


Peter?


When you have someone you loved diagnosed with cancer and you are not sure the outcome, they and you spend a lot of time reflecting on their life.  There is a lot of wondering if they will come through surgery, if the chemo will work, if this is their last Thanksgiving or Christmas or will they make 70?  I spent a great deal of time thinking about my Dad, about my childhood, about the relationship I have with my Dad as an adult, about the memories my kids have with him.  My dad is not a perfect man, he is flawed, he has failed, but in the end I am so very proud of who he is and so very proud to be his daughter.

One word that sums my Dad up in its entirety is service.  My Dad is a server.  My Dad graduated high school and joined the navy to serve his country.  He got out right before Vietnam and when the Navy wouldn't take him back he tried to get into the Army and I think even the Air Force because if there was a war, he wanted to serve.  Luckily for me and my siblings, no one took him.

Handsome?



My Dad then went on to serve his town by being a police officer and later detective for the Town of Lancaster.  My Dad loved being a cop.  He loved the chases and the camaraderie.  He loved the late nights and he loved being part of something big.  Really, what I think he loved most was serving people, helping people in bad situations and helping people stay safe.  As a result of being a police office, my Dad knew everyone in town.  We didn't go anywhere where people weren't saying hello or how was he today.  When I was little I thought that was awesome, when I was a teenager it embarrassed me to no end and as an adult, it makes me a little envious.



(I put this picture in just so everyone could see my Dad's late 70's afro)

After he retired from the police force, my Dad struggled to find work that left him employed and fulfilled.  This is when he started serving his community.  He ran for judge.  He lost, but he knocked on a lot of doors and listened to a lot of people.  He then join the Lions Club and began serving through them.  And by serving I mean recruiting new members, grilling hot dogs, attending benefits.  I don't think there is a Pancake Breakfast he hasn't been to in the last 25 years.

Above all though, my Dad really served his family.  My Mom and Dad have been married for 45 years. I am not sure they always liked each other, but they kept at it, no matter what and showed us what it meant to love and persevere in hard times. When we were little, my Dad worked two jobs and went to college. He showed us responsibility and endurance.  My Dad took time to coach our softball team when we were little and to show up at our band concerts, field hockey games and track meets in high school.  He showed us support and encouragement. 

My Dad has an unfailing sense of right and wrong, and by God, don't wrong him because those Arenas can hold a grudge.  My Dad loves a joke and the dirtier the better.  He laughs so hard before he can tell the punch line that he has shown us not to take ourselves so seriously.   My Mom has often referred to my Dad as "Peter Pan" ,sometimes very lovingly as in "oh Peter, you charmer!" and other times exasperatedly as in "Dammit Peter".  I like to think of my Dad as Peter Pan; as believing in the good, in expecting a happy outcome, in making time for fun.  So keep trudging Dad, and remember, it's the second star on the left and straight on til morning.

Happy Birthday, I love you.