You know that you have been on a lot of interviews when your kids no longer get excited for you. The announcement that I had an interview this Friday was met at the dinner table with the sounds of chewing and each one of them steadfastly ignoring my eyes. When I did catch the 11 year old's eye, hers seemed to say "I love you Mom, but I can't invest in your interviews any more". Sigh, I don't blame her. I have been on a lot of interviews with no jobs at the end. What is it I am aiming for? CEO? CFO? Super-exciting-career-with fabulous travel? No. Library Assistant. Not even Librarian. Library Assistant. My ideal job would be to work as a Library Assistant in a school library. These jobs are posted few and far between, thank you Rick Perry and school budget cuts, and that job seems further and further away.
I am very fortunate that my good friend and neighbor is a librarian with hiring power at the library I do actually work at. I like this job: it is easy, I learn new things, I have seniority. However, I have been there three years and currently make .75 cents more an hour than my 11 year old makes babysitting. This makes me sad and leads me to review my life choices in an unpleasant light. For example, BA in History with no teaching to go along with it was probably not the best choice.
I have interviewed at one elementary school, two middle schools, one high school, one community college and two public libraries for a Library Assistant job in the past few years. The last one I walked into with a glowing recommendation and left feeling as though I had done very well. I did do well, they loved me but had to hire an internal candidate. Of course they did. The internal position I interviewed for that seemed like a done deal? Nope, someone else was more internal than I was. Then at my most recent public library interview it was pretty clear that they already had someone in mind to hire and that I was just there to show they interviewed other people because we talked mainly about good books and my hobbies. (And as an aside, why do they ask you about your hobbies? Shouldn't that be a small talk conversation you have once hired?)
Bill and I were discussing my unemployable traits and it gets even worse. Before I was lucky enough to score my current job, I was rejected all over town. I filled out applications everywhere and never heard back from most of them. Three times I tried at Barnes and Noble because if you are working with the general public, you should at least like what you are selling. No word. HEB made me hesitant but beggars can't be choosers and I end up bagging my own groceries most of the time, why not my neighbors'? Twin Liquors where Bill knew the manager and he said sure, he would hire me. No, he did not hire me either. Bed, Bath and Beyond during the Christmas rush? Nope. Target as a rehire? After talking with a manager who said surely they would call me back. Again, no.
Sadly, it gets worse. I was sneered at, literally a full face sneer, by the woman at Half Price Books on 183 when I asked if they were hiring. After this sneer, she was heard to exclaim "I am so sick of people thinking they can just work here". I am sorry, I didn't realize you were also performing brain surgery in the back. Starbucks - large sign says HIRING INQUIRE WITHIN. My inquiry led to the manager informing me that the sign is always there and they definitely weren't hiring. People, it takes courage for an adult woman with kids and a college degree to go into a place where she will be serving coffee to her friends and ask if they are hiring. I had to sit in the car and cry into my non-fat vanilla latte after that one. (yes, of course I had to get one even after all that).
Bill, being my biggest fan, tells me he just doesn't get it. That I am smart (true), witty (yes), personable (on occasion) and good looking (usually). I am well read, I listen to NPR, I brush AND floss. Why am I so unemployable? Why indeed? Maybe if we scrapped the whole interview process and instead I worked one day in the position I was applying for I would have more success. If you don't like what I have done at the end of the day or I decide you blatantly lied about what the job entails, we part ways. If I do well and like the job, then I am hired. Right?! I think I am on to something! Texas is a right to work state, why not a right to work one day and try it out state?
I think the best part of this stroll down memory lane was that as Bill and I were recounting all the places that have not hired me, I remembered that I also interviewed for a position at the church. When I reminded Bill of that, he laughed and said "Baby, even God won't hire you." We laughed and laughed, but there you have it, even God won't hire me.
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