Read it and Weep

Open another window, go to amazon and order "Wonder" by R.J. Palacio.  Go ahead, I'll wait......

 It is targeted for ages 9-12 but I think it was a great read for any age. My friend, CG, and I get tired of adult fiction with its repetitive plot lines: main character has horrible disease, husband has horrible disease, husband is cheating, main character has horrible disease AND husband is cheating or, my personal favorite, main character involved in illicit affair and will soon be punished by death of lover, death of husband, death of best friend, etc.  We often prefer Young Adult Fiction because everything is new and hopeful: love, friendship, opportunities and everyone is just so fresh faced and interesting.  This book falls under children's literature, not even YA, but it was just so good, I have to share! I read this book in a day and half and cried for about a day and a half when I was done. 

"Wonder" tells the story of August, a ten year old boy with severe facial deformities who is about to enter middle school, and a mainstream school, for the first time.  The author does not come right out and describe what August looks like, but gives each character a chance to tell and I am left thinking he looks like the guy from the movie Mask, only more disfigured.  Maybe even the third brother from "The Goonies".  Anyway, you soon forget to imagine what he looks like because you are caught up in what he and the others are thinking.  Auggie has not had an easy life and he is used to people staring at him, he expects the worst from people and he often gets it.  He is slow to expect goodness or kindness but his happiness when he does experience it jumps at you from the page.  While most of the kids at school are horrible to Auggie, or indifferent, he does make friends with some amazing kids and has good experiences along with the bad.

This book changes between the characters and often revisits a scene in order for each character to tell what he/she was thinking and tell it from their point of view.  I love when a book switches voices, I just cannot read it fast enough.  We hear from Auggie, from his sister Via and from an assortment of their friends.  We do not hear the story told from an adult character, but the kids do an amazing job of describing their interactions with the adults and they leave you knowing what the adults are feeling or thinking.  For example, Via describes seeing her mother standing outside Auggie's door in the middle of the night "her hand on the doorknob, her forehead leaning on the door.  She wasn't going in his room or stepping out; just standing right outside the door, as if she was listening to the sound of his breathing as he slept". (Palacio, 99)  I knew instantly that it was a mother calming her own fears by listening to the peaceful breathing of her child at night, convincing herself that he is okay, she is okay, that everything will be okay.

I like that the characters in this book, Auggie included, are not perfect.  They are flawed, they are selfish, they are so very human.  Auggie is not given a free pass because of his deformities; the author portrays him as selfish, as bitter and even using his disability at times to influence a situation.  His sister and his friends are not always noble. They all wish that Auggie could just be normal or that they didn't feel like they needed to protect him, that they could just be cool with the other kids.  The parents disagree, the parents admit to lying and the parents yell at their kids or miss opportunities to help or listen.  It is how very genuine and honest these characters are that really gets you.

When I finished the book and finished crying, I picked it right back up again to read with my kids.  This did not go over well because as my 9 year old said "we can read on our own" and it is killing the 11 year old with how long it takes to read when reading out loud. And while they could read it themselves,  this book presents so many teaching opportunities and so many things to discuss on how to treat people.  It also facilitates conversations about what the characters in the book are learning and how that connects to what they are learning themselves in school.  Last night the 11 year old explained inherited traits to the 9 year old, she amazed me!   I watched their faces as I read how no one will sit near Auggie on the first day and how he describes what it was like to walk into a crowded lunch room.  They were mad, they were sad for Auggie, they said they would sit with them.  I hope that they would.  I don't think I would have.  Sure, I would have been nice(ish) and maybe said "hi", but I was a jerk in middle school.  (those of you who knew me, feel free to confirm)  I was worried about how I looked, who I hung out with and being cool.  One time, this girl kicked a ball into my face in PE and because I was already self-conscious about the size of my nose and it swelled, I hated her and iced her out when she tried to apologize.  More than once.  See?  Total jerk.  I can't wait to see their reaction at the end of the book and I can't read fast enough to get them there.

Read this book because it is a good story.  Read it because it is so well-written it is hard to find fault with it.  The only one I could come up with is that it was easy for me to see what would happen next, but really, I am a 39 year old woman reading a book meant for a 9 year old - I should be able to cue in on the  foreshadowing.  Read this because it makes you think about how you treated and still treat other people.  Read it with your kids because they are out there treating or being treated in ways that will break your heart.  Read it because someone will make a movie out of it and ruin it and you can say "I liked the book better".  Read it because it will grab you by the heart and take a long time to let you go.

Even God Won't Hire Me

You know that you have been on a lot of interviews when your kids no longer get excited for you.  The announcement that I had an interview this Friday was met at the dinner table with the sounds of chewing and each one of them steadfastly ignoring my eyes.  When I did catch the 11 year old's eye, hers seemed to say "I love you Mom, but I can't invest in your interviews any more".  Sigh, I don't blame her.  I have been on a lot of interviews with no jobs at the end.  What is it I am aiming for?  CEO?  CFO?  Super-exciting-career-with fabulous travel?  No.  Library Assistant.  Not even Librarian.  Library Assistant.  My ideal job would be to work as a Library Assistant in a school library.  These jobs are posted few and far between, thank you Rick Perry and school budget cuts, and that job seems further and further away.  

I am very fortunate that my good friend and neighbor is a librarian with hiring power at the library I do actually work at. I like this job: it is easy, I learn new things, I have seniority.  However, I have been there three years and currently make .75 cents more an hour than my 11 year old makes babysitting.  This makes me sad and leads me to review my life choices in an unpleasant light. For example, BA in History with no teaching to go along with it was probably not the best choice.

I have interviewed at one elementary school, two middle schools, one high school, one community college and two public libraries for a Library Assistant job in the past few years.  The last one I walked into with a glowing recommendation and left feeling as though I had done very well.  I did do well, they loved me but had to hire an internal candidate.  Of course they did.   The internal position I interviewed for that seemed like a done deal?  Nope, someone else was more internal than I was. Then at my most recent public library interview it was pretty clear that they already had someone in mind to hire and that I was just there to show they interviewed other people because we talked mainly about good books and my hobbies. (And as an aside, why do they ask you about your hobbies? Shouldn't that be a small talk conversation you have once hired?)

Bill and I were discussing my unemployable traits and it gets even worse.  Before I was lucky enough to score my current job, I was rejected all over town.   I filled out applications everywhere and never heard back from most of them.  Three times I tried at Barnes and Noble because if you are working with the general public, you should at least like what you are selling.  No word.  HEB made me hesitant but beggars can't be choosers and I end up bagging my own groceries most of the time, why not my neighbors'? Twin Liquors where Bill knew the manager and he said sure, he would hire me.  No, he did not hire me either.  Bed, Bath and Beyond during the Christmas rush?  Nope.  Target as a rehire?  After talking with a manager who said surely they would call me back.  Again, no.

Sadly, it gets worse.  I was sneered at, literally a full face sneer, by the woman at Half Price Books on 183 when I asked if they were hiring.  After this sneer, she was heard to exclaim "I am so sick of people thinking they can just work here".  I am sorry, I didn't realize you were also performing brain surgery in the back.  Starbucks - large sign says HIRING INQUIRE WITHIN.  My inquiry led to the manager informing me that the sign is always there and they definitely weren't hiring.  People, it takes courage for an adult woman with kids and a college degree to go into a place where she will be serving coffee to her friends and ask if they are hiring.  I had to sit in the car and cry into my non-fat vanilla latte after that one. (yes, of course I had to get one even after all that).

Bill, being my biggest fan, tells me he just doesn't get it.  That I am smart (true), witty (yes), personable (on occasion) and good looking (usually).  I am well read, I listen to NPR, I brush AND floss.  Why am I so unemployable?  Why indeed?  Maybe if we scrapped the whole interview process and instead I worked one day in the position I was applying for I would have more success.  If you don't like what I have done at the end of the day or I decide you blatantly lied about what the job entails, we part ways.  If I do well and like the job, then I am hired.  Right?!  I think I am on to something!  Texas is a right to work state, why not a right to work one day and try it out state?

I think the best part of this stroll down memory lane was that as Bill and I were recounting all the places that have not hired me, I remembered that I also interviewed for a position at the church. When I reminded Bill of that, he laughed and said "Baby, even God won't hire you."  We laughed and laughed, but there you have it, even God won't hire me.

Lots of Words

I have always had a lot of words.  We joke that my daughter came out talking and I think I was the same way.  I actually had a shirt when I was little that had Charlie Brown next to a motorcycle and said "Motor Mouth". Imagine how much I had to say that my parents felt the need to warn people of my verbose nature.  I loved that shirt!  I didn't think there was anything wrong with being called Motor Mouth. Being the younger sister to twin sisters and older sister to the only boy in the family, I had to find my place somewhere. We read this book one summer that I cannot find on amazon or online in order to properly cite, but my mom thinks it was "The Something To Do Stone".  One of the characters in the book was a talker, a loud talker, so after all of her lines it would say "...who always spoke loudly like that".  My family began using that against me, as if volume somehow took away the importance of my words, and for awhile anything I said was followed by one of them saying "said Rebecca, who always spoke loudly like that."  Oh ha, ha.  However, I did not take any offense to the repeated comment on my report cards stating "is very talkative in class".  

I couldn't find any that show my talkativeness, but I did find one that explains my Math issues.

In college, I learned bigger words to add to my many words. However,  I worked full time and went to school full time, so I have forgotten most of those words.  At my first job, I learned it is not polite or considered professional to send out emails IN ALL CAPS and PURPLE FONT, no matter how passionately I felt about something.  My boss at the time advised me to take up smoking before I sent out another one of those.  



I think that when my kids were tiny and everything was said in a sing-song voice or as simple as possible, I lost some of my words.  Little kids are hard work and who wants to talk when their mouth can be used to drink wine once the kids go to bed?  Now my kids are medium kids and they talk all the time.  Seriously, they talk over each other, at each other, at me, at my husband, at the TV, the dogs.  If they are not talking, they are humming.  Continuously humming.  Dear God the humming!  My words seems to be limited to "do your homework", "someone let the dog out!", "STOP HUMMING".  Again, my words are lost by the end of the night.




This year, I had the opportunity to administrate a large, volunteer-run group at the kids' school.  (I am still up in the air as to if it was a blessing or a curse.) 200 kids after school in an outdoor venue, lots of things can happen, lots of information needs to be disseminated, lots of nicely veiled threats needed to go out...enter a new format for my words!  My weekly email to parents about what had happened, what would happen next week and my anger hidden as sarcasm became a great outlet for all my words!  I wasn't going to just send out the bare facts.  That's crazy!  I had an audience, a captive audience, for my words.  And people liked it!  More than one, I swear!  They would email me back and say "ha, ha!", or "I love these emails!".  People stopped me at school to tell me they enjoyed my emails or better yet, to tell me I had a way with words.  A way with words, I love that.   And when my neighbor said I should really blog, I thought no way.  That's crazy! How self-promoting is that?  But her words were stuck in my head, so I thought you know, I do have so much to say about so many things..... so here it is.  My blog.  Filled with all the words I think but might not get a chance to say.  Words to entertain, or to inform or just to be used in a diatribe.  Here we go!