It’s wild how this world works. One minute you’re dating someone and both of you are saying that this is definitely not a forever thing and just a few years later, there you are, becoming each other’s forever thing. I am reminded again of how when I said I was moving to IL to be with my person, one of my friends said “It’s like a fairytale” and another said “You really wore him down”, and again, both things are true!
The week before the wedding, I was running on joy. I have run on sarcasm, sheer determination, and spite before but joy felt new. I am not a naturally effervescent person but there I was, bubbling over with impatience and happiness and joy. Pure, unadulterated joy over the fact that my person would be my husband. That our family would be there to watch. That my daughter would be here and I could hug her so tight that neither of us could breathe. Everything was good and nothing was bad and my students could have been building tiny fires in the back of the classroom and I would have given them Jolly Ranchers for working so well together and called them precious pyromaniacs.
The biggest stress of this wedding was finding a dress. As a, ahem, mature bride, certain styles seemed silly and certain styles seemed too matronly. I ordered one dress that I loved and when it arrived, I still loved the bottom of it. Silver and strewn with autumnal flowers and swoon. The top though. I somehow overlooked all the netting on top. It made me look and feel like a mermaid who got caught in a fishing net, drowned, and then floated up to the surface three days later. I went to stores. I looked at every different thing I could think of online. And then, I ordered one from Amazon. Pink and it fit and I didn’t think of a dead mermaid when I had it on. Perfect!
We got married at our house and it was perfect. It was fortunate we had not purchased any furniture for the front room yet and were able to set up chairs and have the wedding in that big, sunlit room. We had tables and chairs borrowed from friends, flowers from the grocery store, and decorations from Amazon. The weather was gorgeous for late October: sunny and 70. The backyard was strewn with fall leaves, making it picture-perfect. My daughter and his daughter and I sequestered ourselves upstairs to get ready. We laughed and got dressed. We talked and did hair and makeup and grew impatient and sweaty. Sophie did my makeup and for the first time in a long time, I looked like how I wanted to look. (Over a certain age, I swear all mirrors act like the Target checkout camera and I frequently think troll, sea witch, or gargoyle when I catch my reflection). I could hear my person talking and greeting the guests and laughing and I loved hearing his voice. Even when it sounded slightly and then very stressed as he could not find the rings in front of all of our guests.
Vivaldi’s Autumn began and we started down the stairs. My handsome son was waiting at the bottom of the stairs to escort me and said he was so glad to stand in for Papa and do this. Sniff. We walked through the dining room and then turned into the front room and then there, there he was. My person. My heart flew out of my chest; he looked so handsome, so impatient, waiting for me there. We smiled, I think I was already crying? We both wrote our own vows and they were beautiful, heartfelt, and true. An outpouring of love, of devotion, of forever. I cried, he cried, maybe people in the audience were crying? All I know is how happy I was. How loved I felt. How impatient I was to start the rest of my life right then.
We took a million pictures in the backyard. We had Portillo’s catered and people ate and talked and laughed and visited. We had chocolate cake and Italian cookies. We had craft cocktails that would make three different floors in the house pretty sticky the next day. The house shook with words and love and laughter. Every room seemed bright and buzzing, loud and alive. I kept looking at my person to find him looking at me and our smiles meant everything.
What a wonderful thing it is to be wrong, to say not forever while finding forever. How amazing it is to love and be loved after being sure you were done with love. What a blessing it is to have family come to support your love and for your kids to be happy for you even when they feel conflicted. And what an absolutely wonderful thing to have my person as my husband.
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| And damn, if we didn't look good too. |
