What if 2019 is not going to be my best year yet, but I appreciate it for the fact that I am living it? Is that enough? Do I have to buy into the hype, hoopla, and hyperbole that surrounds this gift of another year or can I just say "Cool, thanks"? Do I need to be bigger, better, or stronger or can I rest in who I am? As people, there is always room for improvement, don't get me wrong, but when do we get to rest in who we are, or like who we are, or appreciate who we are and what we offer the world?
I have had ten days off and that makes me well-rested and contemplative. I have exercised and napped. I have feasted and watched what I was eating. I have hiked and spent days in pajama pants. I have read a book and watched too much Netflix. I like how calm I feel at the end of a break and it leads me to wonder how I can be this person when school starts back up. The answer I keep coming to is self-care. Not self-love which would be a totally different kind of blog, or the self-improvement a New Year seems to demand, but self-care.
Self-improvement can be good, but what are we doing for our self-care? How can we present our best selves if we are continually pushing to be better, better, best? I like to think of self-care as a pause, a reflection, a time-out to regroup and gather strength before setting back out into the world. Maybe it is yoga, or a hot bath with a decadent bath bomb, or a glass of wine or most of those things all at once. Maybe it is a can of soup for dinner so that you can read the last chapters in your book. It could be getting up at 5am to exercise because you feel better during the day and not about how much you lift. Maybe it is simply trying to be a good person and reminding others to try to do the same. It is saying that you like things about yourself and nurturing those things rather than downplaying them or ignoring them entirely. It is making time for the things that make you whole but might not be necessities. It is finding time to listen, finding time to laugh, and finding a true connection to the people you surround yourself with.
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| And really, may we all have one pure moment of bliss like this. |
What if this new year we took time to celebrate the people that we are rather than trying to shape them into bigger, better, smarter, stronger, richer versions of ourselves? What if the versions we sit in right now are enough? I know that I will fail at things this year and I will also succeed. I know that I will have classes that frustrate me to tears and classes that go so well I get goosebumps. I will parent well but still miss opportunities to do it better. I will love my husband and also take him for granted. I will be a great friend and also the worst friend in the world. I will feel happy with who I am and discouraged with myself as well. I will be up and down, but what I want to do, and I hope that you do too, is I just want to live this year being me. Not me trying to improve a thousand things, but me choosing to laugh in the car with my kids rather than itemizing what needs to be done when we get home. Or me ignoring those same kids who are big enough to feed themselves and going someplace for me. Me realizing that seventeen years into a marriage is no time to get lazy. Me taking time for me so that I can truly appreciate this life and the people in it. Me being present in my life and also being present in yours. Self-care sounds like a much better alternative to self-improvement.
2019: may it bring you joy and happiness and well-cared for versions of your self.
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