All the Nice Words

As you know, I am usually a very big proponent for words.  I think in words, understand in words and talk in words, a lot.  I like to use big words and fill up time and space with words and sprinkle my words liberally on others.  When you use words this much, you tend to forget how impactful they can be.  How quickly a word can eviscerate or invalidate or how a list of words can enumerate or penetrate and pierce through your soul.  Words are powerful stuff and I often forget this.  I am not talking about somebody’s written words, although they can be powerful too.  I am talking about the words that come out of our mouth in a huff, in a jest, or in a rush.  Words tumbling out, landing on top of each other in a jagged pile, pulling our heart and our tears with them.  Those words are ick.

As I have both wounded and been wounded by these ick words this week, I have started to rethink how I use my words.  Perhaps I should be more judicious with my words.  Perhaps not everything needs to be spoken aloud or kneaded and rolled into a doughy, wordy mess.  Or maybe I could just use my words nicely.  Take all of those things that I might think but don’t say (yes, I actually do think things and not always say them) and say them.  That would be okay too and I could consider it my Valentine’s gift to the world and by doing so take the yucky-schmaltzy-overhyped-ick out of Valentine’s Day as well.  Two icks, one stone!

Today I started using my nice words with my son.  He does not get many nice words from me in the morning, but to be fair it also shouldn’t take eighteen minutes to eat one piece of toast.  When he came downstairs wearing the same pair of shorts he has worn the last two days, I did not tell him he can’t wear those shorts one more day.  Instead I told him how nicely his shorts went with the shirt he put on and that he looked handsome.  He beamed and ate his toast in a mere twelve minutes.  Fueled by this small success, I committed to bringing my nice words with me to work.  I packed them right alongside my leftovers for lunch and my water bottle and they fit there perfectly.  When I called a kid by name to come over and sign in, he was surprised I knew his name and said it was so nice that I knew it and used it.  Even names can be nice! 

I feel like I am on a roll now and can singlehandedly combat the carnage of mean words, impulsive words and the hyperbole of canned romance for this upcoming Hallmark holiday.  I am going to say every nice word I can think!  I am going to not say the mean words I think! I am going to think before I speak!  I am going to change the world!  Join me in using nice words!  (And yes, I do think nice words can still be peppered with salty language).  Let’s dissolve the blah of February by using our best words – the ones we usually save for Sundays, or holidays or first dates.  Take them out, brush them off and throw them into a conversation.  Watch someone’s face light up when you use your nice words on them.  Relieve the blah of winter or the drudgery of a long work week by filling your colleagues’ ears with nice words rather than the usual complaints.  I have already told one of mine that she is tenacious and powerful and I usually just ask her to stop singing.  Finally, when the silliness of Valentine’s Day overpowers your resolve to say nice words and all the words you are thinking start with either “stupid” or “lame” and you know this will shatter the heart of someone who still believes in cupids, fill your mouth with chocolate instead.  They get to keep their cupids and you get to eat chocolate while thinking mean words you won’t say and everyone is happy, but mostly you because you are eating chocolate.

By the handful.