Say You Want a Resolution

Here it is, January 2^nd, and I have already broken two of the three New Year’s Resolutions I set for myself.  I normally do not make resolutions because I know me.  I know that I take things that could be possible and give them a ridiculous time frame to get done and when they don’t get done in that time frame, I throw my hands up in the air, retreat into the fetal position and self-medicate with handfuls of chocolate.  This year, I got caught up in the hype.  New Year, New You?  Yes, why not me!  New Year, New Beginnings?  I could start something fresh or new!  Out with the old, in with the new?  Yes! I cleared out one whole drawer in the kitchen after I read that.  I don’t know, too much daytime TV or too many exclamation point headlines, something spoke to the slacker in me and said “join this”.  So I did.  I quickly decided I would lose weight, be a better friend and this will be the year I become a teacher.

Let’s look at number 1: lose weight.  I normally do not believe in losing weight because I gain and lose the same three pounds every few days and if my jeans fit, then so be it.  Not this year.  This year I was going to lose real weight, measureable weight and glow in the satisfaction of it.  Sadly, this goal lasted until lunchtime on New Year’s Day.  Bill made homemade mac and cheese.  Kraft in the blue box I could have passed up but not homemade mac and cheese.  It was delicious and I ate myself into a cheesecarb coma.  I am not proud to say that when I woke from my couch nap, I went straight to the kitchen in a low blood sugar zombie trance and ate the remaining ten cold noodles out of the congealed cheese at the bottom of the pan.  Go ahead and judge me, you can’t be thinking any worse of me than I was while I kept shoving those cold, yet tasty, noodles in my mouth.  Knowing that this is my life and I am weak, I gave up on lose weight and changed it to “make healthy choices.”  This morning I ate quinoa with banana and walnut for breakfast.  This erases the shame of the cold noodle eating from the day before.

Goal number two was to be a better friend.  I have friends, I love my friends, but as of late, I feel as though I am terrible friend.  We don’t get together often, I forget what they tell me and all I offer is words.  Well-rested after two weeks off of work, I thought I will be a better friend and make time to actually see my friends before I don’t have any friends.  Today I started thinking about school and work firing back up and I know I am not going to be that good friend.  I socialize all day at work, wait, what I mean is my job is very social.  My kids talk an awful lot when I get home and I guess I am all talked out at the end of the day or even sometimes on the weekend.  If anyone would like to get together and take up some quiet pursuits like yoga or knitting or hiking without talking, call me.  Especially if it involves comfy pants!   Until then friends, I am sorry I don’t make book club or parties or neighborhood events, but if you need emailed words, I’m there.

New Year’s resolution number three is to be a teacher.  That one I am not compromising on.  Since that is really more of a life goal or a career path, I think I just stuck it in with the resolutions to keep the fire burning. However, I don’t need New Year’s to make me remember I want to teach because I think about teaching all the time.  This is going to happen, stay tuned.

I feel amused that I was such a lemming and followed the resolution crowd right over the cliff. We all know better than that.  If something in your life really needs to be changed, it shouldn’t matter if it is January 1^st or June 23^rd; you should change because you are ready, not because the rest of the world is proclaiming you should do it now.  

As for me, 2016 will see me continue as me.  I will work and be a mom and be the loudest mom at all the sporting events.  I will write, I will read, I will learn new things and insert myself into any teaching opportunities that come up.  I will try and I will succeed and I will also try things and fail.  I will inch along, I will race along and hopefully end up ahead and not behind. I will laugh, I will cry and I will say bad words at both opportune and inopportune times.  I will make healthy choices and I will fight my coworkers for more than my share of the queso.  I will value myself, I will value the friends who stand by me even though I am a terrible friend and I will love my family with all of my heart.  And I will, this year, at some point, be hired as a teacher.  The things I have listed are not resolutions, they are just my life.  They were my life in 2015 and they will be a part of my life in 2016.  It makes me happy to read them and it makes me smile to know I get to keep doing these things.  My hope is that the things you list make you happy as well.  Happy New Year!