These first two months of school have been crazy. They have been frantic, frazzled and
frenetic. Teachers are looking harassed,
harangued and harried. They are wearing
their April faces in October. Our loving
library has been referred to as a “police state” and “fascist regime”. Rules have changed, things have changed,
people have changed and all and all, it has been disheartening. We have been negative, needling and
near-sighted. We have felt put upon, put
down and pushed aside. As a result we
are slow to smile, quick to anger and a little lifeless around the edges. We don’t like to be like this and we talk
about what to do to fix it, but until today I didn’t have an answer.
Today I taught. Today
I stood in front of a class of about 25 or so and spoke, directed, instructed,
lectured and modeled. It was exciting
and new and it went well. It could have
gone a lot of ways, but it went well. We
spent 90 minutes discussing forgotten people of American history: the women and
more specifically, the suffragists. It
was thrilling! I don’t know if it was
thrilling for the kids, but they were at least engaged. At the end of the class, they watched a clip
from Iron Jawed Angels. The clip I had
them watch is where Alice Paul (Hillary Swank) is force fed in prison to end
her hunger strike. After the clip, the
class was instructed to write for two minutes, non-stop, about how they
felt. And they wrote. Not all of them wrote for two minutes, but
they wrote. Like the wanna-teach-teacher
I am, I brought them all home tonight to read.
There are some true gems because they are teenagers and when instructed
to write how they feel, they pepper their feelings with profanity. They say things like “Damn that sucks.” Or “I
am worried those raw eggs will make her sick”, or the best one, “Jesus Christ
that’s blasphemy. The one that really got me was the “I am so mad right
now!!!!!!” I showed someone something that
made them so mad. This student was mad
so she was listening. And if she is mad then she might be mad enough to care
and if she is mad enough to care, then let’s change the world!!! I am excited that I finally made someone mad
and not mad at me!
 |
| Someone else has been having a year like mine! |
This student helped me realize that I probably make people
feel something every day. I am hoping it
is not always anger. I am hoping I help
them feel relieved when I offer them a solution or happy when I show them how
to fix what isn’t working. I would like
to think I make them feel encouraged when I listen or amused when I share a
pearl of wisdom. Somehow in the hullabaloo of this 2015 school
year I forgot that what I say and do can make a difference. I forgot that if I can’t change the big
stuff, at least I can impact the little stuff.
That little stuff can carry you through a day if you take the time to
notice it.
It’s going to rain this week and as a result lunch will be a
nightmare. However, I am not going to
dread it. We are going to plan for it
and go in like the warriors: the nurturing, caring, “this is still a library!”
warriors that we are. And while I am
walking and walking and walking around and grow disheartened by the swelling crowd
and those who insist on breaking rules they know are there, I will not let it
set the tone for my day. I will take
care of the rule breakers because that is my job, but I will look for those I
can help because that is what makes my job worthwhile.
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