Know When to Fold Them

We have all had birthdays that were not great.  We have all had birthdays that come and go with little fan fare and when you are older than ten, it is probably safe to say we have all had a birthday that just plain stunk.  Poor Bill is having a birthday that is all three.  And this is fifty! This is a milestone birthday that is hard to face and harder to handle when it goes as badly as this one has gone.

It all starts with me.  I am a good person but sometimes I drop the ball.  Sometimes I don't speak the same love language as my husband and as a result, I disappoint him.  My love language is words; no surprise there.  His is acts of service and I forgot this.  So when I asked him for months what did he want to do for his 50th birthday and he kept avoiding or not answering, I should have recognized he was looking for something big.  However, as I did not hear any words, I thought he just wants to keep it low key.  I continued in this thought until the night before his birthday when he said he thought I really would have planned something to wow him.  Instant stomach ache, overwhelming feelings of guilt and cue the tears because there are no words to fix this.

On Friday, his actual birthday, Bill got up at 1:30am and went to work as one of his sites was pouring concrete and he needed to be there.  That stinks as a start.  Later when he got to his office he saw a brand new company truck in the lot like the one he was promised and thought "Happy Birthday to me!".  Except it wasn't for him.  And there was no cake in the break room for him and no one even said happy birthday.  Later in the day he got a call from the owner of a restaurant that he built saying the water heater was out and he needed to get there right now.  With one final squeeze of his ten year old boy heart, he headed there thinking it was a surprise party after all.  It really was just the water heater.  When he was telling us all of this last night, both SG and I cried as he laughed retelling it.  That tender-hearted girl is going to need counseling after hearing all that.  We did give him presents and the kids made him beautiful cards (because they speak my language) and the day ended slightly better than it started.

Today we decided would be Bill day.  We would do the things he likes that we never do and no one would complain.  Maizy came over and we all crammed into the car Bill just got back after a month at the repair shop.  We were a block away when it became apparent someone smelled and smelled terribly.  Yes, it was the boy.  A mile down the road one sister threatened to throw up and the other threatened to kill him if he didn't put his arms down.  Good times.  We are now five miles from home and piece of the cowling on roof flies off and hits a car behind us.  Yes, on the car he just got back from the shop.  No one spoke for a good ten minutes.  Bill shook off his anger and we continued on.  We went to the vegan taco food trailer Bill always wants to go to and we always resist going to.  We found it and put in our order and then heard it would be at least twenty minutes.  It was forty minutes, it was blazing hot and we had to sit with strangers at picnic tables.  The strangers got the shade and we got the hot, hot sun.  Oh, and thirty minutes into the wait the boy started getting attacked by yellow jackets.  But we were not going to complain because this was Bill's birthday celebration!  Luckily, the food came and it was really good or we were starving, hard to tell.  Everyone but SG enjoyed their food and Bill was feeling if not happy, at least loved.

He and I then left the kids at home and went to go see a movie.  A movie where they serve you beer and food so it should be great.  No.  The movie was terrible! I haven't seen a movie that bad in forever because if a movie is that bad I just go to sleep.  You know when all the previews are terrible that the movie probably stinks and stink it did.  A Walk in the Woods quickly proved that Robert Redford is too old to act and direct films.  Everything about it was painful and Nick Nolte was such a mess I thought he was Gary Busse at first.  I hoped fervently that Bill was enjoying it even though I was not.  A quick glance into his glazed eyes told me he was not.  I think he even fell asleep for awhile.  We had planned to go out tonight but as we left the movie theater, Bill remarked that he was done.  He was done with this birthday because this birthday is done with him and we should just go home and call it.  So we came home laughing, a little, and wondering why it is the world has it in for him.  We then realized we had nothing for dinner and Bill had to run to the store.  Look at this poor man peeling potatoes on his day of Bill.

Sadness personified.

Forget SG; I am going to need counseling after this terrible birthday.

We think that because McMahon men rarely make it to fifty that the world was just not prepared for this McMahon man to actually turn fifty. I am grateful he was able to turn fifty and he is happy to be alive if not yet happy to be fifty.  We have decided to just put this birthday to bed and get on with the weekend.  The vegan coconut cream pie that will be made tomorrow is not for Bill's birthday, it will just because it is a long weekend and there is time to bake. I am afraid the oven will catch on fire if I say it is for his birthday.   The places we have yet to go and the things we have yet to do are in no way part of a birthday celebration, they are just because it is a long weekend and there is time to do things.  No birthday fun happening here, no sir!

And me, because all I know to do is to use words, I am using my words to try and make a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad birthday into one that at least makes him smile a little in the corners when he reads through it.  I am also writing this so everyone reminds me next year to do something big; I need to plan the hell out of fifty-one.  No words, just acts.  Well, some words, but they won't be center stage.