The Early Bird Gets Tired

I do not enjoy working out at 5:30am but my choices are really limited during the school year.  I have a hard time trying to work out after work because kids take precedence and truthfully, all I really want to do is come home and take off my shoes and bra.  My only other choice is to go round and I have promised Bill I won't do that until my sixties.  Oh I will be a happy and fat old lady!

For those of you wondering if a 5:30am workout is worth it, it always is.  However, I wanted to break it down for you so you know exactly what you are in store for.  

Timeline for a 5:30am Workout

Bedtime the Night Before:  set alarm for 4:30am. Die a little inside.

Midnight: Wake up to pee.  Pee.  Go back to sleep smiling because you have 4.5 hours left to sleep.

3am: Wake up to pee.  Pee.  Toss, turn and levitate over the bed because you know your alarm is going to ring any second.

4:20am: fall into deep sleep

4:30: turn alarm off and wonder if you should pretend you don't hear it.

4:32am: get up because you have to pee.  Pee.  Figure as long as you are up you might as well get dressed to work out.

4:40am: eat a little something and drink coffee because you tried working out before without it and wanted to cry and throw up the entire time.

5:30am: start working out and hating your life.

5:40am: sandbag your way through workout because it is 5:40 in the morning.

5:45am: Trainer calls you out for sandbagging your workout.  Hate trainer and want to kick him.  Only thing stopping you is that you lack energy to lift your leg.

6:00am:  come in last during all the sprints and wish a 60 year old round woman would join your exercise group so she could come in last and you could feel better about yourself.

6:15am - cut workout short because you have to get kids on bus.  Feel good and rushed.

6:30am - run into house, wake everyone up, shower.  Continue to sweat for one hour despite showering.

8:00 to 10:00am - you are flying high on endorphins and caffeine.  Annoy your coworkers to no end because you are flying high on endorphins and caffeine.

10:00am - 12:00pm - grunt and/or groan every time you stand or sit down because you did not stretch and you are tightening up and already sore.

12:00pm - realize that wash and wear hair is not really a style you can pull off.

Right??

1:00pm - eat lunch and revive a little.

2:00pm: crash.  Drink Diet Coke despite promising yourself earlier in the week that was the only Diet Coke you would drink.

3:00pm: consume everything chocolate in sight as your already sweet sweet tooth has been ignited by the evil of aspartame.

4:30pm: drive home starving.

5:00pm: get home and realize you still have to make dinner.  Cry a little.

5:05pm:  call husband and ask him to pick up dinner on the way home.  It's Thai so you can still feel like you are eating healthy.

6:00pm - 7:00pm:  talk husband's ear off about your day, your workout, your enthusiasm for life.  Also try, and fail, to engage him in important things like finance, parenting or plans for summer.

7:05pm:  stop talking.

7:07pm: fall asleep sitting straight up.

8:00pm - give up all pretenses of not being asleep in chair.  Go to bed.

Repeat this twice a week until school lets out and you can work out at a normal time.  We are down to five more weeks of school, so that means only 10 more 5:30am workouts.  I will be glad to work out at a normal time and Bill will be glad that I can stay up til at least 9pm on a Friday.  He shouldn't worry because I know when I get old and grow round, I will be up late every night.  When else am I going to eat all that ice cream??