The Dodgy Side

We live in a lovely, tree-lined neighborhood.  Houses are well kept, fences maintain our privacy and there is even greenbelt areas sprinkled throughout the houses.  There is an award winning school in the middle of the neighborhood and a large community pool at the entrance.  Lovely, yes?  One would think.  Lovely for those who get to use such services, ("The Others"), but a matter of whaththeheck for the rest of us, i.e. those of Us on the dodgy side.

Dodgy.  100% dodgy.

When we built our house, we were fresh off of selling our Frisco home for a loss and you would have thought we spent more time researching the area but we did not.  "Ooh" we said.  "Look at all the trees!" we said.  And we bought.  We drove by an elementary school so of course that is where our children would go.  It was not even a half mile from our home, so we could walk, right?  Wrong.  Due to gerrymandering, or what I like to call money changing hands, our house and those that followed would go to a different school district.  Our children would not walk a half mile to school; they would be bused four miles away.  There are houses in the neighborhood where the district line actually cuts through the house and makes for all sorts of confusion where the kids should go to school.  I would like to know what kind of tequila-soaked, cigar smoking night that line drawing followed.  I used to be pretty upset about the whole school issue, but over time have realized it is a blessing that my kids are where they are.  The girls are rock stars, the boy gets the help he needs and we have all met great friends.  Score one for the dodgy side!

Next up, the pool.  Apparently when our houses were being built, our builder did not want them to be part of the rest of the neighborhood's HOA.  I am led to believe that our builder was a giant jackass about not being part of it and The Other's HOA people left with a disdain for not only him, but the section of houses he was building.  Our salesperson told us when buying the house that she was certain we could join the large HOA if we wanted to and of course use the pool.  She lied.  Forays made to The Others about such a matter were shot down immediately with scorn and derisive laughter.  Alright, we don't need your HOA.  We will make friends with some of The Others and join them as they partake in your precious pool.  And we have.  We spend more time in that pool than some members, I am sure.  We are befouling it with our dodgy side germs.  You can gate us out, but we are wily, sneaky creatures, we will find our way in.  Score two for the dodgy side!  

Other things that do not make it over onto the dodgy side include utilities and governmental improvements.  Yes, we have electricity and running water but we do not get AT&T U-verse.  I kid you not when I say it stops, actually stops, two doors down.  You will know exactly where if you are driving because you will feel your car go da-dunk as it lowers onto the pavement on our side.  Why? Well, when road crews came through to repave a few years ago, they stopped exactly two doors down.  My friends among The Others like to joke that a big iron gate comes down when the sun goes down to keep Us in and protect The Others at night.  They also like to laugh that our garbage can has "Shits" spray-canned down the side of it.  That is how it was dropped off to us in our brand new home.  Shits.  I am sure that would have been an immediate source of fining over with The Others.  We pay the same ridiculous taxes as The Others and yet are treated like the communist bloc by the government.  

With summer upon us, I was weary of my children the other night and said "go play outside."  I was met with derisive laughter and scorn.  All over this neighborhood, kids are playing outside: they are kicking the can or riding bikes or playing catch in the street.  Except on the dodgy side.  I sent the kids on a reconnaissance mission last night to be sure and they confirmed that not one child was seen playing outside.  It is not that hot so I can't understand why.  It is summer!  Kids should come back at twilight smelling like Off!, with sweaty heads, skinned knees and fresh mosquito bites.  Our street ends in a cul-de-sac and branches into two other cul-de-sacs so street play should ensue.  My friends among The Others live in a cul-de-sac and their kids are out every night playing.  I told SG to grab the soccer ball and her brother and go knock on their friends' doors and start a game of kickball in the top cul-de-sac.  She looked at me in horror because 12 year old girls do not start anything; someone might notice them and they might be different.  Horror!  The boy looked at me with scorn because a soccer ball is not a kick ball.  A million pardons.

I am buying a kick ball this weekend.  Actually, two in case one goes down the drain.  If I have to go up to the top cul-de-sac and play kick ball with my kids until someone else notices and sends their kids out, I will.  I am going with "if I do it, they will come".  Then when the kids come, I can sit in a lawn chair in the driveway and drink beer and thereby lower the median home value for The Others.