Ahh, my two weeks off for Winter Break were
lovely. Everyone was happy to be home
and happy to step out of the rush of school and work . Pajama day?
Sure. Movies in the
afternoon? Definitely. Board Games?
Well, if we have to. You have to, so sit down and play. Even being sick for half of it was alright because I didn't have to worry about calling in sick or things piling up.
It was great. You know what is hard to do after two weeks like that? Going back to work! Anyway, I came back to work on Monday and it was a staff development day so I thought there would be some meetings, lunch out and chit chatting as we all caught up about our time off. Sadly, there was none of that. Only change and with it, pandemonium. Mold was found in some classrooms here and four of the classrooms were being moved in the library. Right that minute. Additionally, the big copiers and laminator and paper storage were also being moved in with us so we had to clean out the storage room. There were teachers moving in, there were movers pushing things and pulling things and showing up with boxes of this and that and whose was this anyway all day. My coworker summed it up as a “real shit-show” and she was right! We decided as long as there were burly men moving things, lets have them move the bookcases we wanted to move one day. Which meant moving more books than I care to remember. It was non-stop all day and I left exhausted. The exhaustion lingered and I can only chalk it up to all the change. You may not know this about me, but I am not a real fan of change. I don’t know why I am so bad with change, but I am. I guess it could be because I like order. I like sameness. I like knowing what comes next. I do not like chaos. I do not like guesswork and I especially do not like the unknown.
There are many things I am good at: spelling, baking bread and purging closets. Spelling because my mom made me look up words in the dictionary, baking bread because Bill said once that if he was a stay-at-home-mom he would be baking our bread (Challenge issued! Challenge accepted!) and purging closets because I moved 13 times in my adult life and it got easier to toss things rather than box them up again. Unfortunately, there are many things I am also quite bad at: math, pronunciation and change. Math because it did not come easy to me, therefore I hated it. (and I may have spent most of high school math writing notes to my BFF Amy). I missed two weeks of school in second grade getting my tonsils out and I am convinced that is when they taught proper pronunciation and why I can spell a word and tell you what it means, but butcher it when speaking. And as for change? Change is icky. Change is scary. Change makes you do things you don't want to do.
However, if I am going to live this year thinking I am so damn blessed, than I am going to have to learn to deal with change in a better way. I cannot ostrich my head away or shut down when faced with change. I also cannot be a whirlwind getting everything done and then hiding from all the newness. I should probably not over-caffeinate and engage in theological and political debates with students in a sad attempt to not have to deal with the newness around me. (again my coworker got to say "It was a real shit-show!"). I find that sarcasm is a good way for me to deflect those icky change feelings, so I will continue to use that. When sarcasm loses it shine, I may move onto snark. Hey, thinking about this, this is not any different than what I do day to day, so maybe it won't be so hard!
Feeling empowered by these thoughts, I tried taking a new way home this week and guess what? Cut twenty minutes off of my drive time! Look at me saving fossil fuels and my sanity all because I tried something new. I made a change! I cannot guarantee that I will be positive and sunshiny about change, but I can say I will try not to run from it. I will also try to meet it like an adult and try to not panic when changes are imminent. I will try. However, right now it is all about order and sameness because it is Friday night and Friday night is pizza night and really, a woman can only change so much in a week.
 |
| Yep, pure relaxation. |
It was great. You know what is hard to do after two weeks like that? Going back to work! Anyway, I came back to work on Monday and it was a staff development day so I thought there would be some meetings, lunch out and chit chatting as we all caught up about our time off. Sadly, there was none of that. Only change and with it, pandemonium. Mold was found in some classrooms here and four of the classrooms were being moved in the library. Right that minute. Additionally, the big copiers and laminator and paper storage were also being moved in with us so we had to clean out the storage room. There were teachers moving in, there were movers pushing things and pulling things and showing up with boxes of this and that and whose was this anyway all day. My coworker summed it up as a “real shit-show” and she was right! We decided as long as there were burly men moving things, lets have them move the bookcases we wanted to move one day. Which meant moving more books than I care to remember. It was non-stop all day and I left exhausted. The exhaustion lingered and I can only chalk it up to all the change. You may not know this about me, but I am not a real fan of change. I don’t know why I am so bad with change, but I am. I guess it could be because I like order. I like sameness. I like knowing what comes next. I do not like chaos. I do not like guesswork and I especially do not like the unknown.
There are many things I am good at: spelling, baking bread and purging closets. Spelling because my mom made me look up words in the dictionary, baking bread because Bill said once that if he was a stay-at-home-mom he would be baking our bread (Challenge issued! Challenge accepted!) and purging closets because I moved 13 times in my adult life and it got easier to toss things rather than box them up again. Unfortunately, there are many things I am also quite bad at: math, pronunciation and change. Math because it did not come easy to me, therefore I hated it. (and I may have spent most of high school math writing notes to my BFF Amy). I missed two weeks of school in second grade getting my tonsils out and I am convinced that is when they taught proper pronunciation and why I can spell a word and tell you what it means, but butcher it when speaking. And as for change? Change is icky. Change is scary. Change makes you do things you don't want to do.
However, if I am going to live this year thinking I am so damn blessed, than I am going to have to learn to deal with change in a better way. I cannot ostrich my head away or shut down when faced with change. I also cannot be a whirlwind getting everything done and then hiding from all the newness. I should probably not over-caffeinate and engage in theological and political debates with students in a sad attempt to not have to deal with the newness around me. (again my coworker got to say "It was a real shit-show!"). I find that sarcasm is a good way for me to deflect those icky change feelings, so I will continue to use that. When sarcasm loses it shine, I may move onto snark. Hey, thinking about this, this is not any different than what I do day to day, so maybe it won't be so hard!
Feeling empowered by these thoughts, I tried taking a new way home this week and guess what? Cut twenty minutes off of my drive time! Look at me saving fossil fuels and my sanity all because I tried something new. I made a change! I cannot guarantee that I will be positive and sunshiny about change, but I can say I will try not to run from it. I will also try to meet it like an adult and try to not panic when changes are imminent. I will try. However, right now it is all about order and sameness because it is Friday night and Friday night is pizza night and really, a woman can only change so much in a week.
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