This one starts with a confession: I almost didn't go to vote. Gasp! I know. I am very ashamed of myself for being so lazy and entitled and well, apathetic. The good thing is that I did go this morning (no lines) but I understand why turnout is so bad when it seems so critical that we be out there voting.
In my defense, I just moved and I am exhausted. If you haven't moved in awhile, don't. Just stay where you are, or leave everything behind, especially any pets, for the new owners. I swear that the next time I move, I am seeing what will fit in my big hiking backpack and that is all I will take with me. You know what won't fit in there? Baskets. I don't know how I became the owner of so many ugly and non-functional baskets, but while I was moving three years ago, I stood in my garage with a friend who said "Lose some of these baskets." And I did, but I still had a ridiculous number of unseemly baskets to lose this time as well.
I am physically exhausted from heaving boxes and climbing stairs. I am emotionally exhausted trying to remember why the hell I have so many baskets as well as culling my kid's childhood memories. I decided that the Valentine's container made from a milk jug about 13 years ago wasn't moving but I cried as I put it in the dumpster. I am also truly just tired because cats are assholes and they didn't take the move well; hiding and yowling all night long. It is like having a newborn and, friends, I am way too old to have a newborn.
So moving tired plus working with apathetic teens put me in this place where I knew voting was happening, where I was liking people's statuses about voting, but never made me feel like I needed to go do it myself. (Don't worry; I also hate myself as I reread that). And maybe my Zoloft is too high and I am not feeling as passionate as I should be about the state of the nation and world, but if it wasn't this high, I probably could not do this job every day. What a modern-day dilemma!
This morning though, as I sat watching the news and seeing the voting coverage, the guilt and shame settled in. Not so much that I was frozen or indifferent, but enough that I started to think. I thought about the clip from Iron-Jawed Angels that I show each year that has Hilary Swank as Alice Paul being force-fed in prison. For wanting to vote. Force-fed in prison for wanting to vote and here I was on my comfortable couch, sipping coffee, and trying to see if I had time before work to go because I didn't want to end up standing in a line. (yep, hating myself again.)
As I teach and preach each year, these women sacrificed so very much. They faced so much vitriol and hate and persecution, yet they stood. They marched. They chanted. They kept the fires going in front of the White House. They sat through prison. They endured torture. They did this for us.
If you are sitting on your couch, hating yourself because you also have been lost in life and haven't gone, it's okay. Shake off the guilt and go. Early voting til 7pm tonight and voting all day on Tuesday. We don't have time for guilt. Just acknowledge that life is exhausting, carve out 10 minutes somewhere, and go vote. Vote for yourself and for your daughters, but really, you are also voting for them.
No comments:
Post a Comment