Spa-ctacular

In light of a recent exciting judgement that has Facebook lit up with both rainbow flags and bibles, I have decided to write about something completely different.   I will not be adding judgement to judgement because you have seen my recent likes (#lovewins) and I have seen yours and we know where we stand. Rather, I thought we could all stand to hear about my day at the spa.  I may not have said more than twenty words all day while I was there, but boy was I thinking them!

My loving husband and children gave me a spa package at Lake Austin Spa for Mother's Day and I got the chance to use it this past weekend.  Luxury, right?  Yes.  But don't be jealous: you will get to retire one day and I will work until I die.  Seriously, you will be tan and fit from your retired lifestyle and I will be stooped over and inside my orthopedic shoes eight hours a day as I welcome people into Walmart.  Anyway, this was a very nice chance to be away, to be waited on and to just be quiet for a day.  Plus I got to wear a robe all day and use as many glasses and towels as I wanted!  This was truly luxury at its finest.

I was given a brief tour, handed my sandals and robe and left on my own to figure out what I was going to do.  I changed and headed up for my massage.  Just typing about it makes my shoulders relax.  There have been times I have gone for a massage and had a lot of trouble getting my brain to turn off.  It would pepper me with ridiculous thoughts or questions, things like "Is that my stomach?" or "Is she going to be a talker?  Please don't let her be a talker!" and "Did I turn the curling iron off??" and it would take me forty minutes to settle down and then the massage was almost over.  However, this time I told my brain ahead of time not to ruin it and the masseuse started with some deep yoga like breathing that made me initially want to giggle, but turned very soothing.  It was hypnotic and calming and, in turn, I was very calm.  I think at one point she had both elbows and maybe a knee in my shoulder at once but that was okay; it felt great.  There wasn't a kink left in any of my upper back.  I left there a little light headed and chill and headed down to my healthy lunch.

I will say it was a little weird to be eating alone, especially when lately the only eating I do alone is stealth chocolate eating as quickly and quietly as possible.  Also, it felt weird to have someone wait on me while I was wearing a bathrobe.  However, the food was great and healthy and I just listened in on all the conversations around me.  It was here that I noticed that everyone seemed to be here with a friend or a group.  I was really enjoying this being alone and being quiet and didn't feel bad being on my own.  I noticed another woman alone and as the day progressed and our paths continued to cross I realized quickly that while I was alone because I wanted to be alone, she was alone because she was a bitch.  She was rude to the staff, impatient in the Blue Room, critical of lunch and I heard her disparaging the towels.  The towels.  The white loops of heaven that were knitted from clouds and angel tears and in every corner, folded and ready for you to take a new one.  I could understand if she was disparaging of the threadbare, indiscriminately colored, slightly summer camp smelling towels we use at home, but here?  That is just one very unhappy woman.

Heaven: folded and stacked.

I had time before my next appointment and headed down to the pool.  There I sat and read a book without having to look up and count heads.  Bliss!  When it began to rain, I moved into the cabana.  When I got bored of the cabana, I moved back inside and thought I would use the hot tub.  The hot tub, sauna, steam room area is a clothing optional area and I'll admit, I thought about it.  However, I also thought about the glee the staff had in their voice when they said it was clothing optional and I just know that they are secretly filming and mocking every naked person in there.  I did not want to end up mocked at their Christmas party this year, so I left my bathing suit on.  Just as I turned to hang up my robe, a very naked woman slipped herself into the hot tub.  AHHHH!  A flurry of thoughts assaulted me quickly such as "What do I do now?" "Do I go in?"  "Do I not go in?"  "I really don't like saunas."  "Why is she even here?"  "This is my day!".  I decided to go in and walked in slowly keeping my eyes fixed on a point high above the windows and nowhere in her general area, the same way you would during a PAP smear.  The minute I sat down, and again it was nowhere near her and at no point did I sneak a look at anything, she harrumphed and boosted herself out of the pool.  That was nothing I ever, ever need to see again and I assure you, I will use a ladder every time I get out of a body of water going forward.  Shudder. 

Finally it was time for my last even of the day, the facial.  I think that the facial lady hated me instantly.  I felt her judgement as she looked at my skin and heard it as she mentioned my spotting.  I laid there with my eyes closed and listened to how she was going to have to use Vitamin C to do something about the spotting.  Yes, yes, I am a speckled as an egg, get on with the warm towels.  For the record, I know.  I am not sure why I am spotting all over my face in weird spots and I am using things to correct it.  I also choose not to look too closely; this is the same trick I use between threadings when I am rocking a unibrow.  The lecture was over and the warm towels began.  Ahh, relaxing contentment up until she started extractions which is a big word meaning pimple popping.  Yes, I can grow pimples and wrinkles at the same time, I am that talented!  I had my eyes closed but given the amount of pressure she was exerting I am pretty sure she had both elbows and one knee involved as she went about her business.  I then let this crazy woman at my face with a needle to extract some millia on my forehead.  Millia are apparently prehistoric pimples I have been growing since my teen years that never surfaced.  It didn't hurt, but it didn't feel good either.  She said I would have two red dots on my forehead while they healed.  She did not say it would look like a cobra bit me in my sleep.  She may have been disdainful of my skin, but she did a great job and my face was smooth and crazy young looking when she was done.  She handed me a list of what she used and pointed me to the gift shop and I thanked her and tossed the list out.  You know that if I can't get it at Target, I am not going to get it.

Sadly it was now time to go.  No more alone time, no more Blue Room with its squishy chairs that made reading perfect, time to go home.  I dressed back in my street clothes and left my robe and sandals in a neat pile.  I drank one more glass of water because it was minty and there and brought my number of cups used in one day to at least fifteen.  Plus one mug.  And forty-two of the most beautiful towels you have ever seen.  It'll be the memory of those towels that get me through my days as a Walmart greeter.  

Teach Your Children

I have a confession to make.  It is now the second week of summer vacation and my children have yet to do any math.  I know!  I should definitely have my mom card taken away.  I am failing them, especially because neither one enjoys math nor do they do exceptionally well at it.  

Why am I setting them up for such failure?  I guess because it is summer and I spend the school year harassing and haranguing them about math, reading, and getting out of bed.  I plan their logistics, organize their lives and gear and it gets to be wearing on us all.  I'll get us all from Point A to Point B with everything we need for the day, but there is not a lot of enjoyment in that.  I need, we need, this summer to just enjoy ourselves; to remember how to enjoy being together.  These kids of mine are getting big awfully fast and I just want to slow down a little and see them, really see them.

I forgot how happy SG is when she wakes up on her own time.  How much patience she has for her brother and how much sparkle she has when she is not laboring over homework after a long day at school.  Many times she told me how hard she worked in Athletics and while I heard her, I was not always listening.  Attentively anyway.  I was listening with my eyes, ears and heart last week while I watched her keep up with the boys and just whole-heartedly go after the drills at her Strength camp.  My girl, the one who galloped instead of running the first ten years of her life, is an athlete.  They say you can explode with pride but it was more than that for me; I spontaneously combusted with pride.  My plans for her this summer include watching her throw her head back and squeal with laughter, trying weird hair tricks I see on Facebook on her glorious mane of hair and sitting down and listening when she is talking.

The boy and I have had quite a year and we need a summer before he strolls in middle school this fall. I am on him a lot to get this done, or did you do this or good grief WHY is there a colander in the middle of the living room?  We need this time for me to step back and for him to step up and show me what he can do without me telling him to do it.  I watched him at his parkour class today and I got great joy out of watching him and secondly watching him look over each time he did something to see if I was watching.  The boy that has been stiff arming me all year still likes to know I am watching.  Point taken buddy, I'm watching.  My plans for him include seven million games of basketball in the driveway, laughing when his jokes aren't funny and watching him jump into the pool too many times to count.

In addition to actually seeing my kids and enjoying them, I want to teach them important things.  Things like how to cook rice or pasta or how to clean up dog poop, all valuable things to know.  Plus their newfound knowledge could eventually make my life easier, as in "I will be home in 30 minutes, start some rice" or "Mom the dog pooped in the dining room, but don't worry, I already picked it up."  I want to teach them that they should always try something new.  I want them to learn that it is okay to be bored.  I am not threatening them with chores if they say they are bored, but I am not offering to fix it either.  They will figure something out and then they can continue to figure something out as life goes on.  Finally, I want them to really understand that your brother or sister can be more than just your sibling, they can be your friend.  I may need to revisit that one myself.

                                     

 

I am not sure what will happen if we don't do any math or any other school type learning this summer.  I might be condemning them to a lifetime of state schools and a career in public service.  There are worse things in life though and for me one of those worse things would not be just stopping to enjoy them.  Or letting them just be kids: lazy, a little smelly, crazy funny and amazing kids.  

Are We There Yet?

To me it feels like the last few weeks of school are like the last few hours of a road trip home: endless.  You know where you are, you know how much longer it takes to get there and still you are hoping to beat the time/space thing and go faster and get there quicker than you ever have.  However, on this last leg, you are weary, you are tired of everything and everyone and even though you are going as fast as you can, it still seems like it takes forever to get there.

I'm not the only one counting down

I got through the “itises” of April only to be faced with how very long the month of May can be.  Being at school but dreaming about summer makes for some long weeks.  May is busy, crazy, let’s get everything done month and ohmygosh we have to get it all done now!  We need to send $5 here and $10 here and read this email about what happens next Thursday.  I get emails to both home and work, skim them twice and forget about them instantly.  I barely made it onto the Sign-Up Genius in time to get the last easy slot for the end of year party.  Five minutes more and I would have had to bring something other than napkins or water.  The horror!  Exhibition, Welcome to Band, sports banquets, 5^th grade graduation and teacher gifts all this week.  It is like adding a flat tire and a full bladder in the last 20 minutes from home. 

Happily, we are in the home stretch; just finals left at the school here this week and we are down to under 20 kids who still owe a book.  My running around school with my stamper of shame last week paid off!  It really can’t come a minute too soon.  If we were all weary of each other before, we are now down right sick of one another.  Well, at least in our school setting; we still like each other outside of school.  I love the kids who hang out here with us but I need them to stop talking to me.  Right now.  They are getting emotional because they are leaving and I am getting emotional because they won’t stop talking. 

I don’t have much planned for summer but that doesn’t matter, I just want to get there.  I want to sleep in until 6am or maybe even 7!  I want to listen to my own kids talk and not feel beaten down because I have already listened to kids talk all day.  I want to sit by the pool and talk with friends I haven’t seen much since last summer.  I want to take day trips, but no long road trips as I am still recovering from last year’s trip of epic proportions.  I want to not plan lunches until lunch time and please God, no sad salads for lunch all summer long.  I want to exercise a lot and at a decent hour because I can.  I have a stack of books set aside to read and I want to tear into them voraciously and devour each and every one.  I want to force SG to play board games and she will because I have outlawed all screens until after 1pm each day.  I am a mean mom like that.  I want to play 21 in the driveway with the boy but definitely not any of those weird collectable card games he likes.  I just want to be there!

Four more days and we will be there. I can’t wait to say “YES” to the “Are we there yet?” that keeps repeating in my head.   I am not sure any of us are finishing strong but that’s okay because we were strong August through April.  May is for getting ‘er done and this last week in June is like finally reaching your exit on the highway: you’re not quite there but you are so super close that you know you are going to make it.  Hang on summer!  We’re coming!!